


Secrets Threatened

by remus_bloody_lupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dumbledore is understanding, Marauders, Marauders' Era, McGonagall is clueless, Misgendering, Trans Character, Trans Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:05:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remus_bloody_lupin/pseuds/remus_bloody_lupin
Summary: Remus Lupin has finally done it, he has made it to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But with all the secrets he keeps, can he really feel comfortable there, can he make friends? And can he handle when he gets called up during sorting by the wrong name?





	

So this is it, this is everything that everyone always raved about; this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And it is everything that they said it would be. Remus stares up at the castle as the boats guided by the gamekeeper Hagrid ride up to the school. The lights from the castle dances across the water, blinding Remus with it’s glory as he blinks through the pouring rain. Every first year is soaked to the bone, but no one seems to mind too much as they marvel at the castle: everyone but one, however.  
“I am absolutely soaked! Does my hair look okay, Potter?” Remus looks over his shoulder to see a first year boy like himself fretting over his hair, trying to press down the wet, straightening curls that dance almost to his shoulders.  
“It looks just as ridiculous as it did when it was dry, Black.” Says the boy next to him-most likely Potter- with a sly smirk on his face. Black glares at him then looks over, noticing Remus’s stare.  
“Whoa,” He says suddenly, making Remus quickly turn away. “Did you see that scar?” Remus peeks over his shoulder to see Black drawing a line from his eyebrow down his nose, just where Remus’s scar lay. He swallows thickly and rubs his arm from underneath his plain black robes, feeling other scars that line his wrists. The closer they get to the castle, the more the butterflies in Remus’s tummy began to swarm. Actually, it is more like they are having a raging battle inside of him. What is going to happen to him there? He doesn’t really know which house he is going to be put into: he’s kind of loyal, so maybe Hufflepuff, he likes to read, but he’s not very good at puzzles, so maybe not Ravenclaw. The only part of him that could belong in Slytherin is the demon that he keeps hidden deep down, only to reveal underneath the burning light of the full moon. But despite it all, he doesn’t see himself being very brave; although he would like to be sorted into Gryffindor, he doesn’t really have what it takes. But besides his house, what will happen with his classmates? What if someone learns his secrets…  
The butterflies flutter harder as the boats come to a stop abruptly and he can barely force himself out of the boat as all of the other first years rush excitedly to the castle, ready to get out of the rain. Waiting for them at the doors of the castle stands a gray-haired woman with a bun so tight on her head that Remus can physically feel the pain that it must cause her.  
“Welcome, first years, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Professor McGonagall, if you would all follow me to the Great Hall we can begin with your sorting then get into the feast.” Stomachs growl and rumble around him, but Remus’s mind is anywhere but on the magical feast that awaits them. He pulls at the overly large sleeves of his second-hand robes as they walk through the halls of the castle, but unfortunately, they are at the Great Hall in no time. Time flies as Remus stands anxiously in line, listening to the names being called.  
“Black, Sirius!” Remus’s eyes snap up at the familiar name, watching the boy with the still dripping wet hair walk up to the old sorting hat. The confident expression that was once plastered across his face now is nowhere to be seen. Whispers erupt from around him as the Black boy sits down in the stool and has the hat set on his head. Remus perks up his ears, anxious to hear the results, but the hat is silent for at least a full minute, before shouting out,  
“GRYFFINDOR!” There are gasps of shock and of horror, surrounded by loud whispers, before Potter throws his hands in the air and claps. The Great Hall grows silent, other than the sounds of Potter’s applause.  
“Go Sirius! I knew you could beat those slimy gits!” Angry hisses grow around, but Black now has a smile on his face and he strides confidently to the Gryffindor table, where he is slowly, but eventually welcomed. More names are called, the hat no longer taking as much time as it did with Black, up until the line thins closer and closer to him. Maybe they’ll skip him, or they’ll do him after everyone leaves the Great Hall. But, to his suffering, the name he dreads is called.  
“Lupin, Reagan!” Remus pulls his slightly shaggy hair over his face and he slowly shuffles up to the stool, where the sorting hat awaits.   
“Reagan?” He hears a chubby boy question as he walks past. Tears burn his eyes as he plops down on the stool, only to have the large, old hat dropped onto his head and falling over his eyes.  
“Hmm, interesting.” Remus jumps as a loud voice echoes around his head.  
‘You can talk?’ Remus thinks, only to hear a deep chuckle.  
“But of course. Now, let me think. You are quite intelligent, I see… But no, while I can see you in the blue robes, I think there is a better house for you.”  
‘Please not Slytherin.’ Remus begs weakly.  
“Slytherin? Oh, no. No, the darkness from the wolf is not strong enough to send you into Slytherin. No, I believe that Gryffindor is the right house for you.” Before the hat can open up his mouth, Remus reaches up to grab the flaps of the hat.  
‘But, but I’m not brave!’ Once again, the deep chuckle vibrates around his head.  
“Oh, but you are. You convinced your parents to let you come to Hogwarts, even after they refused Dumbledore's offer.”  
‘How do you know that?’ Remus asks in wonder.  
“I know lots of things, Lupin. Not only that, but you have stood up to your parents many times, I see. You keep living, even with everything that life has thrown at you, you continue to live. That is why, REMUS LUPIN, GRYFFINDOR!” The hat yells out loud, causing Remus to jump, immediately squirming out as the hat is removed from his head. He catches the questioning look on Professor McGonagall’s face, but he ignores it and rushes over to the Gryffindor table. Like the others, he receives hesitant pats on the back and congratulations, but he just keeps his head down.   
“Welcome to Gryffindor.” Remus looks up to notice a girl with flaming red hair flashing him a grin. He forces a smile back before going back to staring at the plate resting in front of him. Soon, Potter, James and Pettigrew, Peter are both sorted into Gryffindor and not before long, the tables were filled with magical delights. Roast beef and roasted chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausage and steak and kidney pie, marvelous assortments of potato's, more kinds than Remus could ever fathom and far more than he has every seen in his life. The fear that once overtook Remus is quickly dissolved and replaced with gnawing hunger. Taking lead, he begins to pile his plate full of mashed potatoes smothered in gravy and topping it with several slices of roast beef. Mouthwatering, he grabs his silverware, only to throw them across the table a second later. The Gryffindor table freezes and stares at him as he holds his burned hands close to his chest.   
“Are you alright?” The girl with the flaming hair leans over, trying to reach for his hands. “Did you get cut?” Remus kept his hands tightly pressed to his chest.   
“I'm fine.” He almost shouts, terror filling him once again.   
“Reagan Lupin?” Remus looks up only to meet the stern eyes of Professor McGonagall. He swallows nervously.   
“Yes Professor?” He asks in a whisper. He can't get trouble just yet! Professor McGonagall reaches across the table, grabbing his silverware.   
“I believe these are yours. We would all appreciate it if you would refrain from throwing them around.” Before handing them back, Remus watches in wonder as a small silver string of smoke wraps around them-so small that no one else could have noticed. Remus hesitantly takes the fork and knife, only to realize that they were no longer made of silver, but a cheaper metal. Of course Professor McGonagall knew about him, all of the teachers would have to know that there was a werewolf housing in the same castle as them.   
“Thank you, ma'am.” Professor McGonagall reaches out to touch his hands and the burns lining his palms heal magically.   
“No problem, Miss Lupin.” Remus swallows thickly, watching her leave. The little bit of happiness disappeared once again in a flash, disapparating from his heart.   
“Are you a girl?” Remus jumps and turns to see Black, the boy with the drying black curls, staring at him with sharp, piercing gray eyes. “I thought you were a boy.” Remus’s shoulders shake with a slight growing fury.  
“I am a boy!” He cries defensively. Luckily, the only ones who seem to notice are Black, Potter, and the chubby boy who made the comment as he walked up to the sorting hat.  
“Then why did McGonagall call you Miss?” Now Potter is leaning forward, trying to join the conversation. Remus’s cheeks grow a red blush as he stammers, trying to come up with an excuse. Unable to form one and with his heart drowning in humiliation, he stumbles to his feet and runs out of the Great Hall, leaving his food untouched. He roams around the castle for a while before he finally comes upon a bathroom. Not bothering to even see what kind of bathroom it is, he pushes through and slams the door behind him. The fear and humiliation leaves him for a moment as he stares in wonder at the room-his eyes landing specifically on the large, pool-like bath laying in the center of the room. Are all the bathrooms like this? Remus thinks to himself as he walks forward, kneeling down to touch the surface of the bath. The water is warm and welcoming and everything in his body screams that he jumps in and immerse himself in the calming waters.   
“You've traveled pretty far.” Remus jumps to his feet and turns to the door, eyeing Headmaster Dumbledore standing at the open bathroom door, a smile on his face similar to the smile he saw months earlier when he had received his acceptance letter to Hogwarts.   
“Did I?” Remus asks, trying to stand tall and look innocent.   
“Why yes, you've made your way to the prefects bathroom on the fifth floor.” Now Remus's eyes widen, he didn't think he ran that far.   
“I need to get away.” He says, trying to not sound as defensive as he does while he crosses his arms over his chest.   
“Yes, I are very well aware.” Dumbledore says, beginning to walk around the bathroom much like Remus had when he first entered, like he had never been in there before.   
“Remus, is it?” Dumbledore asks suddenly, not turning to look at him. Remus's heart pounds in his ear. Dumbledore had visited him over the summer, bringing him his Hogwarts letter in person so they could discuss the issue of his lycanthropy, but he was introduced to him as Reagan Lupin, and he didn't have the guts to tell him otherwise. When he doesn't say anything, Dumbledore turns to him, his eyes twinkling underneath his half-moon spectacles. “You said nothing of the sort when we met over the summer.” Remus looks down at his feet, suddenly ashamed of himself. “Now I feel foolish.” Remus looks up again, his shame turning to shock.  
“Foolish? The great Dumbledore? What for?” Dumbledore lets out a chuckle that vibrates around Remus’s skull.   
“Why, I didn't know for sure whether I should put you in the boys or the girls common room, now I feel foolish for ever needing to consider it.” A blush grows again on Remus's face and he looks down in attempt to conceal it.   
“Y-you think I should be in the boys common room?” Remus questions, pulling awkwardly at the sleeves of his robes.  
“Of course.” Dumbledore says, his eyes twinkling. “You are a boy, after all.” A smile grows on Remus’s face.   
“Thank you, sir.”   
“You’re quite welcome, Mr. Lupin. Now, the start-of-term feast is almost over, so I think you should get going so you can make your way to the Gryffindor common room. If I am correct, I believe you will be sharing a room with Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Longbottom.” The grin grows further on Remus’s lips and he thanks Dumbledore again before running out, eagerly making it to the common room a little after all of the other students. Since everyone was so tuckered from the sorting and the feast, the room was empty. His eyes turn briefly to the boys dormitories, but then they turn to the girls. Hesitantly, he makes his way over and goes to step onto a stair. With incredible force, Remus is pushed backward and onto his back.   
“Whoa,” Remus looks up to see gray eyes staring down at him. “You tried to sneak into the girls dormitory?” Remus stumbles to his feet and brushes the dust off his robes.  
“I just...wanted to see if it was true that boys couldn’t go up the girls dormitory.” Black nods, eyeing the dormitory.  
“Yeah, it is… Well, they said you’re in our room, so let’s go.” Remus smiles, nodding and the two begin to walk up the stairs.  
“I’m Sirius, by the way, Sirius Black.” A look crosses his face, as if he’s waiting for him to gasp and recognize him by his name, but Remus only nods and smiles.  
“Remus Lupin.” He introduces himself. A smile grows on Sirius’s face and the two new friends make their way to their rooms. Maybe Hogwarts won’t be so bad after all.


End file.
